Today is a different day for me.
Saturday is the day I used to spend with boyfriend, just laughing at nothing with him, kissing and loving each other.
But, have you noticed the verb? Well, yes it is past tense. Not because we fall apart, but because we're not the same. I am not the same. Not after all he did, not after all we said one another.
So you might understand the title of this blog. Actually, this came out of nowhere. I'm sitting in my bed, watching "Californication" on the screen and I had this thought "Why don't I write my own blog?" This wouldn't be any strange, unless that I don't follow any bloggers, don't even have twitter or instagram. Yes, I'm kind of a antisocial girl, in whatever touches new technologies. Nevertheless, here I am typing for people I really don't know, but maybe can find some comfort in my words.
I don't look for redemption or forgiveness, no. I face this blog as a means to express what I can't say to anyone else. Words are often my way to reborn after a big delusion. You know, love sucks. It's true, it really sucks. It barely consumes you from your heart to soul, and the pain it causes... you feel it in your bones.
There is no other way to love, if you doesn't feel it in your bones. Perhaps it means it wasn't love at all. Maybe you were in love with the idea of love. And you know what? It's better if it is the case. Otherwise, it will always hurt, even when you think you're free.
If it is love, you'll never be free, even though love shouldn't be selfish. But the truth? Yes, it is. And it shows the best and the worst out of us.
Hope you share my thoughts and find yourself in this memoirs. Hope not to waste your time.
See you soon!
